From a Youthful Diary

Even though I hear compliments and praise all the time, I feel dissatisfied in my conscience, because I am not doing things I must and can. […] Am I fulfilling my duties properly? I’m not studying as I need to, I’m often lazy. I pay little attention to those younger ones at home. I do not regularly work on issues. I do not put order among the guys, nor do I use all the influence I could have on the dudes, on others, or even on guys. I feel a kind of strength within me that could let me make with many people whatever I want. I could be very influential. The facts approve that. So it’s high time to improve and strive for the ideal of perfection! So here I go!

[Sunday, 31 March (12 April) 1885]

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